And Everyone Will Help You
by LadyThompson
Summary: Chid is growing up. Just like Hitomi said, everyone is helping him...too much. {{To be discontinued.....}}
1. Chapter 1

PART ONE  
  
{{Okay…this is my second fan-fic. I felt that it was about time that Chid got his own fic. [I mean,…there are absolutely no stories about him here…that's terrible, since he's so sweet….]  
  
It's set at about seven years after my first fic, Dirandau is My Sister, And it's part of a series that I'm writing.  
{A-yup…I'm one of those weirdos who decided to make a sequel-type-thing to a work that was already a sequel of someone elses.J}  
  
You don't have to re-read that one to understand what's going on here, though. There are only a few changes…  
What you should know:  
Dirandau is part of Allen's family in this one. {If you want to know why, ready my last fic} They care about each other….but, that doesn't mean that they get along nicely, as will be shown in this fic.  
  
Millerna has died of a mysterious illness that raged all over Gaia like the plague for four years. Doctors are just starting to figure out what happened.  
(::Gulps:: That means I'm going to have to actually figure out an explanation…)  
  
Dryden re-took the throne, and is now ruling over Asturia, and rebuilding everything.  
  
Okay……I think that's all for now…On with the fic!}}  
Chid took a place by Dryden Fassa at the head of the table.  
Chid: "Thank you for all your help last year, Uncle Dryden. I don't know how Freid would have survived what with the droughts and riots and all."  
Dryden: "Ah, you're young yet. You just need practice. In a few years time, that stuff will be easy for you to solve."  
Dryden smiled.  
Dryden: "But, maybe you'll still send your decrepit old uncle a letter sometime even if you don't need help, eh?"  
Chid: "Oh, of course!"  
  
The rest of the men finished gathering at the table. These meetings were something Dryden had devised, to keep everyone on the same page, and to make sure everything was up-to-date. He would invite all the leaders of a certain group. All these different groups would gather at the very large dining table in Dryden's estate in Asturia [He had sold his old estate, and bought a new one closer to the palace…it was just too hard to get out there with all the work he had to do here.] , and they would begin discussing any pertinate information.   
The table was set into different sections: Those who were masters in economics; those who were masters in the art of war; those who were masters in the arts; those who represented the people; and those who were renowned for their intelligence, but had no real set career…..wise men.  
They all began talking noisily at once. It might have been hard to understand for one who was not part of that group…but for these men, it was easy. The subject of discussion was what their whole lives revolved around.  
  
Chid: "Oh..did I tell you? It seems that the sheep of the Mallorian Highlands have come down with something bad. Now the wool industry can't overpower the…."  
Chid and Dryden quickly became lost in a discussion of economics. Some one who only came in on their conversations, and didn't know the two personally, might have thought that these two were the most boring individuals in the world. Their favourite subject of discussion was economics - that lovely area of study renowned for being dry as a desert tree, and twice as tough to swallow. But, when they spoke of it, they just seemed so lively and passionate…they almost made it interesting to other people. [Almost]  
Allen tried to listen to the discussion at hand…however, his mind was on something other than fighting techniques. His sight kept drifting towards the young Duke Freid.  
::"He's getting taller now...looks so much like I did at that age..."::  
He leaned his head against his hand. Chid's features were changing so much...everyday, they looked more suspicious. .Sooner or later, someone was bound to bring it up. Doubtless, people already talked about it in their gossip circles.  
  
Allen was jealous of Dryden. He wished he could be there beside Chid as Dryden was, talking and laughing....but that could never be. He couldn't tell Chid the truth. That would be {}. Chid had a good life as the Duke of Freid. If he were merely the son of a knight, Chid would lose everything that he held dear. No matter how much he wanted to tell him, he wouldn't do that to Chid.  
"No, no, the focus of the eyes.......Allen?"  
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He snapped out of his daze.  
Allen: "Huh? What happened?"  
The others laughed.  
"We were just discussing what is most important in battle, besides skill with the sword. I was very certain it was being focused....but, since you can't even remain focused during a conversation, I suppose you find something else more important?"  
Allen forced a smile.  
Allen: "I'm sorry...forgive me. Please, continue on."  
They continued delving into the art of war.  
  
Though his gaze didn't stay on Chid, his mind did. Allen had become very adept at pretending to appear interested in anything anyone else said....no one else noticed.  
The meeting ended an hour later. Everyone shook hands, and parted. All except Dryden and Chid, who were too deep into their conversation to remember the clock. Allen watched them, hesitating for a moment before starting for the door.  
  
Dryden: "Oh...Allen?"  
Allen: "Yes....your majesty?"  
Dryden smirked. A perk of this job was annoying people with certain formalities.  
  
Dryden: "Be sure to see Eries before you go. She's been wanting to talk to you."  
Allen: "Actually, I should be going now, so if you'd please send her my regards-"  
Dryden: "Aww...you don't want to see her?"  
Allen glared angrily at Dryden. This was yet another set-up for some form of ridicule. It seemed no one could be around Allen without practicing their wit. He was growing tired of it.....very tired. They used to make jokes about his father....now they find all of their comedic material with him.  
  
Allen: "Why should I?"  
Dryden: "To try and woo her your way. I mean, you are a collector after all."  
Allen: "What??"  
Dryden laughed.  
Dryden: "You're not going to try and get another woman? I just figured, since you seem so fond of Meiden's daughters.."  
Dryden chuckled."  
Dryden: " Oh...that's right, I forgot…You only go after the married ones, don't you?"  
  
Allen went red in the face. It's enough to have to listen to this sort of thing all the time....but in front of Chid, too. He looked over at the young duke, to see Chid's reaction. Chid had a hand across half his face, trying to seem like he wasn't hearing this conversation…or maybe just trying to hide.  
:: "I can't believe I used to look up to him...."::  
  
Allen looked down at the ground. That was another reason he wouldn't say anything....if the family tradition was to be ridiculed at court by everyone, he wouldn't hand it down to Chid.  
  
Allen: "If there's nothing more...I'm leaving....."  
Dryden: "Fine, fine..."  
Dryden sounded uninterested. He went back to the table, and he and Chid started up the conversation again.  
Allen hurried down the hall, and out the door, wishing that he never had to come back.  
  
Chid: "Uncle Dryden...what's wrong with him?"  
Dryden: "What do you mean?"  
Chid: "I mean, he seems so…..all those stories I hear about him now…it's….uh…well…...He's just not like what they used to tell me."  
Dryden: "Er….he's not that bad. You'd just have to get to know him first, and…well, that's a hard thing to do. The guy is an enigma."  
Dryden cared a lot for his nephew. Chid sort of brought out a…human quality in him. He didn't really joke so much when Chid was around….  
He knew that Chid had always looked up to Allen. Dryden didn't want to be responsible for destroying one of his childhood heroes for him.   
  
Chid sighed. He could tell his uncle was holding back what he truly felt….lying. A lot of people lied to Chid. There seemed to be some important thing that they weren't telling him. It irked him endlessly that they felt they couldn't trust him to know.  
Dryden: "I think it's time we end this conversation for today. Will I see you at that conference next week?"  
There were a lot of meetings this month. The conference was meant to deal with shortages of grain. They were abundant now, and the people were getting restless due to hunger.  
Chid: "Yes, of course. And, I hope we get more done than we did last time."  
At the last one, everyone had argued for six hours. Not about the task at hand, but about why they didn't like eachother. Typical politicians.  
  
Chid shook Dryden's hand, then left for his waiting escort. He was staying in Asturia for the time being, for all these meetings. As usual, it troubled him to be staying out of his country. The people of Freid loved and respected him. They depended on him….he didn't want to let them down. So adult for a twelve year old..  
Dirandau slammed his glass down on the table.  
Dirandau: "Aya….what idiots!!"  
Allen: "I'd keep your voice down in here. The bar-owner doesn't like his customers to be driven away."  
Dirandau seemed not to hear him.  
Dirandau: "If I ever meet one of them, I'll-"  
Allen: "What are you reading? You haven't put it down since you got here."  
Dirandau shoved some papers into Allen's hands. Reviews he'd gotten for his book…none of which were good.  
Allen had suggested that Dirandau write one. It was a tradition among Asturian swordsman.  
Dirandau: "Just look at these….."  
  
"There is always a problem among swordsman to balance technique with the samurai's way of life. They either follow technique too much, or they have a perfect balance. I never thought I'd see another type….but now I have.  
This book is no more a book about fighting than 'Lander's Poems for the Heavy-Hearted.' Page after page about what he enjoys about murder. I wouldn't recommend this book to everyone.  
I can only commend the author for using the name of Albatou instead of Schezar, in order to save his brother's name from being marred in the swordsman community."  
  
"I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone who hasn't had years of fighting experience. It would be sad to see any fighters new to the craft pick up the bad habits that Albatou has written out."  
  
"If I were ever to meet this man, I'd have to ask him what it's really like to be able to live life without remorse…..for anything."  
  
"It's no wonder that the only people who would actually buy this book are those idiot females who adore him so."  
  
There were at least thirty more like this, all getting worse as they went on.  
  
Allen: "That's a shame."  
Dirandau: "Rrr…this is your fault."  
Allen shrugged.  
Allen: "It seems to me that the one who wrote it is more at fault."  
  
Dirandau tried to smack Allen, but Allen easily blocked it.  
Allen: "Why don't you just sit down and calm yourself? You let what other people do get to you too much."  
Dirandau huffed.  
Dirandau: "And be like you? Never….."  
Allen glared at him for a moment. He then got up, and started for the door.  
  
Dirandau: "Where are you going?"  
Allen: "To pick up a new belt…."  
Dirandau looked at the one Allen was wearing. It was in perfect condition.  
Dirandau: "Oh, forget it…You're just leaving again because you don't want to talk to me."  
Dirandau walked to the door, and shoved him out of the way.  
Dirandau: "I'll leave this time."  
Allen: "I really don't think that-"  
  
Allen's attention was broken. He saw someone being escorted down the street…prince Chid.  
Dirandau: "Allen?"  
Dirandau followed Allen's eyes, and saw the young Prince Chid being escorted down the street.  
He blinked.  
Dirandau: "Is that…a cousin of yours….or something?"  
  
Allen: "That's Duke Freid. We aren't related, we just…er…happen to look alike."  
Yet another lie…yet another bit of pretending. This seemed to be what he spent the whole of his life doing…acting, pretending…trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy. It didn't work half the time, but he had to keep doing it. If he didn't, he might just surrender himself to that fate that seems to be his….A fate he didn't want.  
  
::"Another lie, Allen? Chk, Chk….if you continue using them like this, you're supply will run out soon…."::  
Dirandau wished he could leave Allen's house, and get his own place. It was difficult living with someone like that, when they wouldn't bother telling you anything, and you wanted to know. He often found Allen brooding. When asked what was wrong, Allen would just say that everything was perfectly fine, and that Dirandau shouldn't worry.  
Sadly, the government still wouldn't allow that. He was fairly well trusted now, but they didn't want to take any chances. Allen would have to be Dirandau's guardian until the day he died, or else it was off to prison with him.   
  
Dirandau: "Don't wait up for me. I'll be late….if I come home at all."  
He knew it was useless to tell Allen that. Allen always worried…always. Allen seemed to need to worry about someone, to take care of them.  
  
Allen: "Until tomorrow, then.."  
  
They both headed off in opposite directions.  
{{I'm glad to be able to say that Chid has his own fic on FFN now! Wee-ha!  
  
I hope that Allen didn't overshadow Chid in this..hopefully he won't next time.  
And, about my Dilly's past fic….It may be a long time in coming. I've got some major work to do on figuring everything out. (I'm just hoping it won't turn out to be some megolith-40 chapter thing…)  
[Then again, it seems everytime I set a time limit, I do the opposite...so maybe it'll be a short time before that one is started...]  
  
Okay…happy trails, everyone!}} 


	2. Chapter 2

{{Okay….my little sabbatical is over with.  
I've been enjoying myself. Actually found a book on Kendo! ::Celebrates::  
[Although, I have to give up getting my katana for awhile…::Sighs:: I guess that's alright. I probably should've been concentrating on getting a shinai first, anyway.]  
So, I'm hoping it'll help me get my messy head together, and I won't have to take these little vacations anymore…  
  
Oh…ehe…right…….you came for the fic, and not to hear about me, and my boring little life^_^  
  
I didn't mean to make it seem that writing was Dilly's career in the last chapter. He only wrote one book. Sorry for the confusion on that.  
  
And….I promise, Chid will get more of the spotlight in this fic later on.  
::Feels bad that he hasn't gotten much in a fic which is supposed to be his own::  
He doesn't really do much in this chapter…::Sighs::  
[But, then most of you seem to care a lot about the other characters…so I think you'll forgive me^_^]  
  
On with the fic….Bon Apetite!}}  
  
PART TWO  
  
Complete silence is an eerie thing to hear. They say it doesn't exist….but that's not true. It exists in the homes of the dead, where mourners are afraid to disturb those tired spirits. That is the one last thing they may do for the dead. Allow them some rest if they come back….  
  
Chid stared at the tapestry in front of him. This time was always particularly hard….the anniversary of his father's death, and that horrible attack on Freid.  
They'd be mourning back home, as well. Lights would be extinguished in all the houses, to represent all the lives which were lost that day. All lights, except one…that was to represent those few who had survived.  
  
He meditated for hours like that…just sitting…staring. Strengthening his resolve to become a better leader for Freid, to live up to those expectations his father had for him.  
  
A messenger knocked softly on the door, and came in.  
Messenger: "Forgive me for disturbing you, your grace…but it's time that you went to the capital building."  
Chid nodded, and stood up.  
Chid: "Get a carriage ready for me. I'll be down in five minutes."  
The men were already in a heated debate.  
"It must be done now!"  
"Yes….before things get any worse…."  
Allen: "You don't understand. If we do that…the results will be catastrophic."  
  
There was much grumbling. Nearly everyone was agreed on this attack….except a few troublemakers.  
  
"No, you don't understand. If we don't do this, the results will be catastrophic. That country is a breeding ground for trouble. They're running out of food. Most of the population is made up women, and the children of those who had been killed….they were never able to learn the skills they needed from their fathers. As a result, Freid is a dangerous nation to let sit by itself."  
"Yes, we must go in and take it over!"  
"It's plain and simple. We need to take it over, and ensure it's safety."  
Allen: "It's not that simple….we need to give the Duke a chance to prove that Freid will stand up on its own…"  
"Well, of course *you* wouldn't mind a country being run by a bunch of criminals…you plan on taking office there after this is over?"  
Gaddes: "No. He wouldn't even try to run…he'd lose out to all of you…"  
  
Gaddes had come up from his out-post in order to help out here. Even though he was now in charge of Allen's old position, the two were still good friends. They kept in touch, and helped each other out when it was needed.  
  
Allen glared at his former subordinate.  
Allen: "Gaddes, please…that's not helping.  
He turned back to the others.  
Allen: "Freid has done nothing against us…or anyone else, for that matter. You haven't done anything to see what alternatives are available yet. You can't be serious about taking it over."  
  
Chid was ashen faced when he entered the room. No one had told him of this new development.  
Chid: "You would destroy my country….without even bothering to tell me?"  
  
"Your Grace..please understand….we are only thinking of how best to keep the peace."  
They were so very patronizing. They still viewed Chid as a child…  
  
Chid: "As am I. While you have only to worry about where to send your soldiers and what targets to hit, I must think of the best interests of all of Freid."  
He moved closer to the man he was talking with.  
Chid: "We desire no troubles with you and yours. We have enough to deal with now….therefore, I implore you, let something be worked out between us."  
  
"Your grace...you don't seem to understand the situation. If we allow Freid to-"  
Chid: "You didn't seem much interested in helping it before, when it really needed support. That is why there are such troubles there now. You're not even giving us a chance to-"  
"We can't afford to give you that chance."  
  
The statement struck a chord with the present situation. It was true. No one felt that Chid could be trusted as a leader. Even though he'd shown himself to be an excellent ruler, everyone was always apprehensive about following his advice. They were terrified that he'd screw something up, because he was too young to understand.  
If only they knew how old he felt…all his experiences dragged on his mind. They must have aged him at least twenty years. He wouldn't be surprised if his hair had started graying already.  
  
Chid: "You can afford to. You are watching Freid closer than the hawks which fly above us. If the situation become worse, you'll be ready to go in and stop the problem before it spreads too far. However, it is entirely unnecessary at the present time."  
"We can't do that."  
  
Dryden had been sitting in the background all this time. He was perhaps the only person who had any faith in Chid at all, and he always tried to allow Chid to do everything on his own. However, he could see that Chid was losing this argument, and through no fault of his own.  
  
Dryden: "I find it highly irregular that such a man of high-standing in the military as yourself can find no other strategic alternative. Especially since one of your hobbies is skinning cats."  
"Your majesty, this is the only way that we can ensure-"  
Dryden: "Nonsense...there's always another way. Duke Freid has been more than patient with you. His ideas hold merit. I suggest that you follow them."  
Chid: "Thank you, Asturia. I shall go to Freid presently, and try to repair the situation at hand."  
The meeting was adjourned shortly after that. Chid had every intention of fullfilling the promise he had just made, but there was some small delay.  
Some feared for Chid's safety. Without him there to lead the people, those who would wish to rebel would have an easy time taking over. Political confusion would ensue.  
  
Therefore, to ensure his security, it was decided that guards be sent to protect those of the government. One person was sent specifically to be Chid's bodyguard. There was only one person they could think of for the job....Allen Schezar. He was one of the best swordsmen in all of Gaea. And, because of how far he was known to follow chivalry, and the fact that he had always seemed eager to help prevent Freid from falling to total destruction, he was perfect for the job.  
  
Allen bid Gaddes a quick farewell. Gaddes wouldn't be back from his port for the next seven months, and Allen would be in Freid indefinitely. There was no telling when they might see each other again.  
  
Allen headed for home. He was given a day to get his affairs in order, and then he had to ship off to Freid indefinitely.  
Allen had an easy time of getting his outward affairs in order. He didn't have many social connections these days. It was the affairs of his home he was worried about.   
Dirandau definitely wouldn't be happy about this.  
  
The gatekeeper did not greet him. Not that this was anything to fret over. The gatekeeper never said anything to Allen.  
Likewise, the maids and the cook, and the groundskeeper….none of them ever said a word to him, except to complain or to ask for their pay.  
With a sigh, he thought, :: "Such a lonely life.."::, and pushed it away from his mind.  
The house was empty, as usual.  
The silence…the way the air hardly moves, for fear of disturbing the dust…All his life, he'd remember that.  
All empty houses feel that way.  
  
Some people think that when one lives such a life where one is constantly suffering through some trauma, or everyone is always leaving, that a person can be fine when all that isn't going on. When they're alone. When a quiet calm takes over everything.  
But, even rocks covered by a sheet of ice will still remain rough and jagged.  
The lights were low in the house. Allen could hardly see where he was walking to. As he headed for the next doorway, he tripped over something.  
Allen: "Aya….what is this?  
He sat up. Next to his feet was a pair of boots and a few bottles.  
::"So, he finally came home…"::  
  
Allen stood up, and brushed himself off. He was thankful for one thing, at least. Now he wouldn't have to waste time looking for Dirandau, and dreading this encounter. There was only one stop Dirandau made after having come home from one of those all-night sprees…..the couch in the parlour. It was such a lovely spot to pass out in.  
  
Sure enough, Dirandau was sprawled out over that couch, his clothes completely wrinkled, his collar all askew. He had with him several papers, and a few books. One covered his face, probably to block out what little light came into the room.  
Unlike some people, Dirandau didn't look adorable or harmless while he was sleeping. Even in those dreamless hours, one could tell that he was a killer, a murderer, and one to be feared.  
  
Allen smacked Dirandau across the shoulder. He had long since then realized that being kind and timid when it came to dealing with Dirandau was no way to get anything done. One had to find a balance between being a harsh disciplinarian, and being a molly-coddling caretaker.  
Dirandau sat up, ready for a fight.  
  
Dirandau: "Ayaaaa….don't try anything, !#@%....."  
He had his fists up in the air, prepared to defend himself.  
Dirandau: "You touch me again, and I'll……"  
  
His voice trailed off when he realized it was just Allen.  
Dirandau: "Allen, how many time do I have to tell you not to do that anymore??"  
He smacked Allen.  
  
Allen just shrugged it off.  
Allen: "I see you're as cheerful as ever. No sleep has done you a lot of good once again."  
Dirandau whacked Allen across the face with one of his books.  
Dirandau: "QUIT TELLING HOW TO LIVE!!!"  
Allen rubbed his now reddened cheek.  
Allen: "If I didn't, who would?"  
Dirandau: "No one, and that's the point."  
Dirandau stood up. He began straightening his clothes, and picking up his things.  
Dirandau: "And you wonder why I don't like to come back here…"  
  
Allen tried to help pick the things up, but Dirandau just pushed him away.  
Dirandau: "Don't bother. I can take care of it."  
  
Allen sighed, and sat back down.  
Allen: "So, where were you all this time?"  
Dirandau: "That's none of your business!"  
Allen: "I was only asking…no need to be so defensive."  
Dirandau: "Of course I have to be defensive! Aya….when you're involved, I always have to be defensive…you never leave me alone."  
Allen: "You can't blame me for worrying."  
Dirandau: "Yes I can. And, I do."  
Allen: "Fine, blame me…but cooperate with me."  
  
The two glared at eachother for a moment, and then Dirandau continued with his work. He collected everything, and started for the door.  
Dirandau: "I'll be gone tomorrow as well. I tried to sign up for that swordsmanship competition…and they informed me that no member of the Schezar family is allowed to enter it ever again. I've got to find out why."  
Allen: "You won't have time for that."  
Allen was a little glad that Dirandau wouldn't have time to get to the bottom of that mystery. He wasn't exactly proud of the reason why, and it was all his fault.  
  
Dirandau: "Why do you have to be so thick-headed? I just told you to stop telling me what to do…you can't control my life, so stop trying."  
Allen: "It's not my choice this time. I'm being sent out of state for a time. That means that you have to come with me."  
  
Dirandau dropped everything he was carrying.  
Dirandau: "What??? A time….how long does that mean?"  
Allen: "It could be anywhere from a week to a year…or maybe more…"  
Dirandau just stood, staring at him for a bit.  
  
Dirandau: "But…I've just begun…to actually get my life together here…..I've got my contracts…and my everything. You…can't do this…to me…."  
Allen: "I'm sorry for your loss, but this is not my choice."  
Dirandau: "Oh, yes…not your choice. That's a phrase you're always using. It lets you forget about the fact that you don't want to do what you're doing …"  
Allen: "I'm only doing my duty."  
Dirandau: "You're only letting them take advantage of you. That's fine if you want to live your life like that, as their little harlot….but now you're ruining my life as well! I'm not going to do this."  
Allen: "You have one alternative, Dirandau: Prison. I don't think you want to go there."  
  
Prison would be doubly bad for Dirandau. Asturia still kept some of those prisoners of war locked up…including those sorcerers. They would be happy to see them, that's certain.  
  
Dirandau: "RrrrrrrRR! Tell them you're not going….tell them anything. Just get out of this!!"  
Allen: "I'm sorry….there is no possible way."  
  
Dirandau leaned against a wall. He knew there was nothing he could do…not if Allen acted like this. Allen would never even try to get out of this. He'd do exactly as he was told. And Dirandau had to go along with it, no matter what.  
::"Chk..…he talks about having no choices…."::  
  
Dirandau: "Do you realize…..this is the end of my career? They'll never hire me again….not after this…"  
It had been a long time searching for a career that was right for Dirandau. Three years, at least. Finally, they decided it would be best just to go with his strengths….fire and destruction. He was the leading pyrotechnics engineer in Asturia. Right now, he was getting ready for the next big Asturian celebration. They depended on him to plan out all the fireworks.  
  
Dirandau: "I'll have to tell those contractors I'm leaving."  
Allen: "Oh, I can have that taken care of for you. After all, there isn't much time, and you'll probably want to-"  
Dirandau: "No! It's my job, I'll take care of it."  
  
This fight was common between these two…it just kept repeating itself over and over. Allen's personality was one that required being able to take care of everything around him. Dirandau was much too independent for someone like that. Increasingly he felt the need to do for himself anything he possibly could, no matter how small.   
  
It was no wonder that the two conflicted so much.  
  
Dirandau: "This will be the last semblance of my career….they won't bother hiring me again…..because…..they can't trust that I'll be there when they need me."  
Dirandau sounded quite heartbroken.  
This was the only thing he could say that he'd done on his own…and he was good at it. Now he would have to leave it all behind. Just because Allen couldn't stand up to his own people.  
Dirandau: "Of all things, I won't let you take that away from me."  
Dryden had not been joking about the fact that Eries wanted to see Allen. The two often met together, to talk and make sure the other was alright.  
It lifted Eries' spirit's a little just to see him. He was the only other person who had known her sisters well. No one else realized how much she missed them. The emotions were far too well hidden under that emotionless face.  
  
Right now, they were seated across from each other, at a dining room table. She was prattling on and on….and he was just sitting there, staring thoughtfully at the pattern in the wood.  
Eries: "You're not even listening to me, are you?"  
It was obvious that he wasn't, because he didn't even bother to respond to her enquiry.  
Eries: "Allen…?"  
Still no response.  
  
She sighed, and stood up.  
It was now that Allen decided to notice what was happening.  
Allen: "Oh…you're leaving? I should probably go too, anyway…that boat will probably be in the harbour soon, and-"  
Eries: "I shouldn't have asked you to come. You're obviously in no condition to be around other people."  
Allen: "What do you mean by that?"  
She shook her head.  
Eries: "I know what's troubling you. The whole royal family knows. And….well, you don't think that the people aren't figuring out what's going on, do you?"  
Allen went pale.  
Allen: "Then, they've figured out the secret…"  
Eries: "Yes, but not the secret you're thinking of."  
She sat down as Allen stared quizzically at her.  
  
Eries: "You and Chid look so much alike…if you were the same age, one wouldn't be able to tell you apart."  
She wished that he could've figured this out already. There was no easy way to say it.  
Eries: "They think your mother had an affair with my father."  
  
She went on to repeat the story that had been concocted. Encya, a wild and incorrigible young woman with absolutely no moral background had somehow managed to woo the upstanding King Aston. Leon found out soon enough, and it drove him mad. That was why he left….to rid himself of his unfaithful wife, and to possibly find another.  
It also explained why Allen did not get along with Leon, and why King Aston was so lenient on him in many cases. And why one such as he was able to become a Knight Caeli.  
And, of course….it would explain why Allen was such a tom-cat with the ladies…  
Oh, how easily those idiots ripped a person's life to shreds with their gossip and their rumors…  
  
Allen grew tired of it, this game. He had been losing for quite some time. The intelligent thing would be to just drop all his cards and quit the game now. But that would be improper. He had tried to leave before, after he thought he'd lost everything. But apparently, he hadn't lost enough to quit the game. They dragged him back. And now they would never let him forget his attempt to leave.  
  
His mind glidded elsewhere.  
He thought of his poor, dear mother, lying there as she did all those years ago. Those long, agonizing days….  
Along with his grief, he'd taken on his mother's sorrow as well….as if he hoped that in doing so, he could somehow lighten her burden.  
  
For some time, it was just them there, completely alone together.  
  
Encya: "You'll be good, won't you? When I'm gone?"  
Allen: "Don't talk so, mother…you'll get better. The doctors say you're doing well…"  
That was a lie. Her health was declining fast, and it was definite that she wouldn't last much longer.  
But, he was willing to pretend. They could pretend that everything was alright for awhile longer. No one ever has to stop pretending until the problem is completely obvious, until it is too big to hide.  
  
She smiled, and put a gentle hand to the side of his face.  
Encya: "You're wonderful…so kind….your father would be proud of you."  
He forced himself to smile. That time was when he most hated Leon. He couldn't comprehend why the man had just left them all like that. He was too young to understand any of the reasons why.  
  
Encya: "Just….remember…to be good…."  
With that, she dropped off into an unconscious state. He held onto her hand for a few moments more, then placed it on the bed.  
It was better that she got some sleep. She could forget her pain in her sleep. Eternal sleep…  
  
She wasn't always a kind woman. Most invalids take on that terrible temperament that makes most people wish to leave them. But he stood up to it. He loved her, and he knew that she needed him.  
  
She was beautiful, both inside and out. There weren't enough words for him to describe how wonderful she was.  
And now they would disgrace her, and look well upon his father, who was so far at fault. How cruel….how utterly cruel….  
  
He would've given anything to keep this from happening. Protecting her name was the last thing he'd be able to do for her. But the dead don't depend on reputations.  
  
There were the living to consider. He recalled all those problems that would be caused, if the secret were to be told. It didn't matter how much more Allen had to suffer from those idiots. If Chid could remain untouched by it, then he'd let everything else fall away. Even if it meant letting those who had committed crimes receive no punishment for them, and letting the innocent suffer blindly. There had to be at least one person who would not be cursed, and that would be Chid.  
Eries put a hand on his shoulder.  
Eries: "I'm sorry, Allen."  
  
But, she wasn't sorry for his pain. She was sorry for what Allen had done to her family. The Schezars and the Astons would forever be intertwined. Allen had tainted them with the same misfortune his family suffered. It was almost as if there were some irrevocable curse upon them all.  
  
And poor Marlene…Allen had taken advantage of her innocence, and placed her under that same curse.   
Eries still refused to acknowledge that she was in any way at fault. She could have been happy, had Allen not come along. Instead, she chose to throw everything away…and live the rest of her life, alone, hiding in shame.  
  
Eries still had those precious letters which were sent to her during Marlene's time of greatest trial. Marlene trusted only Eries enough to tell everything to.  
Everyone always trusted Eries with their secrets. That cold emotionless mask never prompted any questions which would lead her to tell them anything, and she wasn't fond of talking when it wasn't necessary.  
It took Dirandau only five minutes to destroy beyond repair anything that could be considered valuable. That was his usual record.  
  
He went into the building of his contractors, and came out three minutes later…the task was done.  
::"Well….at least I broke my record…"::  
He had explained everything that was going on. At least, everything that his pride would allow him too. He hadn't mentioned anything about being forced to leave with Allen because he was considered a ward by the government. He said that he simply had a job offer he couldn't pass up.  
  
They gave him their best wishes, and said that they were sad to see him go. But he knew what they were really thinking. They were wondering why they ever hired that 'irresponsible little Zaibach brat,' and wondering why Dirandau hadn't decided to abandon them earlier. They could expect no less from such a traitor.  
Just because the war was long gone didn't mean that people didn't still hold to their old hatreds. Dirandau was lucky that this was a place of merchants. The Lady Gold overruled all loyalties to other gods or emotions. Dirandau's talent with destruction, organized or other, was too good for them to pass up. If that weren't so, then he'd never have gained a single contract.  
Dirandau sighed. He didn't even know where he was going to. Typical…  
He never really was in control of his life, was he? No…and he never would be in the future…  
He cringed. He remembered those words Allen had said to him.  
"Your future is entirely at your command…"  
:: "Chk….Allen….why do you have to lie so much??"::  
He couldn't believe he fell for that line. If this was having control over his life, then he wondered what captivity must mean to Allen….being physically bound by chains?  
  
He smirked.  
"Maybe it's Fanelia we're going to. I could stand to do a little redecorating for dear old Van."  
He sighed. No, no…he couldn't start thinking like that again. If he did, he'd probably slip back into his old habits. And he couldn't afford the trouble.   
"They expect me not to kill him now. I've got to do as they expect….it's my responsibility."  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks. How could it be? He was starting to think….like Allen.   
::"No…no…..please, no…."::  
He couldn't live like that. He wouldn't live like that.  
Bowing and scraping to other people, pleading for them to let you go on your way, even ifyou were going somewhere to help them. That just wasn't his style.  
  
And yet….there was that unbending rule.  
::"You have no choice."::  
It felt like a weight upon his shoulders, that would one day break his back.  
  
What was so horrible about being in denial?  
At least when he was in Zaibach, he felt like he was in charge. Even though he probably never really was, he felt like it…and he didn't feel the pain that they caused him. Not like now.  
It had been like being in some nice cozy shelter. He was shielded from everything, even those lamentations winds outside. No snow, no rain, no hail, no daggers of precipitation could touch him.  
Even if he'd been chained there….he was still protected from things that hurt.  
  
And now, he had been 'saved' from that 'prison.' He had to face all those elements, those things which scarred him, which injured him beyond repair.  
He wasn't so certain that he'd make it.  
  
::"Aya…..maybe it's time I go visit my friend at the bar…"::  
Yes, his ever faithful friend, who would be waiting for him always. Neither offering advise nor giving words to make him despair, that drink was always there for him…his constant companion in a torrentious world.  
  
He chose a pub at random, and ordered his usual. It didn't matter which pub he chose, he'd been to them all so often that he had a 'usual' at each one.  
  
These were quite helpful institutions. When he ran out of work or other things to do, these places gave him an excuse to stay away from home.  
  
Home…that word was not a word he preferred to use in regards to the Schezar estate.   
  
Although, he didn't exactly mind being called part of the Schezar family. They were so odd, and psychotic…they made him feel almost normal. If he couldn't be considered elite, then he would at least like to feel normal. Not like a freak, or a monster. Not like what everyone else called him.  
Seven glasses…then eight…...then ten. And then the bottle was empty.   
He picked it up, and stared at it through one eye.  
  
Ten glasses finish a bottle.  
13 glasses are guaranteed to make you dead-drunk.  
20 are guaranteed to make you dead.  
::"And they said I was never good at math.."::  
  
He set the glass down on the table, and began spinning it….spinning…spinning….he wondered where it would stop, where it would end.  
  
::"It's not going anywhere in particular. It just keeps spinning because it has to…I wonder if it even wants to keep spinning like that…"::  
  
He spent an hour like that. Wishing it didn't have to end, hoping that maybe something would happen which would mean he didn't have to leave his life behind.  
But, nothing is inevitable, and Dirandau realized that…even through the hazy gossamer curtain of wine.  
  
Dirandau: "I'll be going now….just leave that on my bill…"  
He conveniently 'forgot' for the moment that he wouldn't be back later to pay it.  
  
Bartender: "Want me to ring up a carriage for you?"  
Dirandau: "Nope…Not going home today….."  
The bartender glanced at Dirandau, worried. He had come to know Dirandau well….as well as anyone could know him. He knew the young man was prone to be depressed, as his homelife wasn't the best. And he had heard nothing of the fact that he was leaving the country in less than a day.   
He could assume no idea other than that that Dirandau had decided to kill himself.  
Bartender: "Why don't you…uh…just stay here for a bit more? And maybe talk?"  
Dirandau shook his head.  
Dirandau: "No, I don't have time….I'll be late."  
  
The bartender blinked.  
::"Cripes…he plans it right down to the minute?"::  
  
Dirandau stood up, and stretched. He nearly toppled over.  
Bartender: "I insist that you stay the night here."  
Dirandau: "No. I've got to go down to the water…the..uh….whatever it's name is….."  
He started straightening his clothes, and picking his things up.  
Bartender: "You mean the ocean?"  
Dirandau: "Yeah…that's the one."  
  
::"He's going to drown himself….Allen would never forgive me for this…"::  
The bartender whispered something to the bouncer, who went into the back room.  
  
Bartender: "Hey…seeing as you're leaving and all….why not have one last farewell drink? On me."  
Dirandau: "Oh, alright….."  
If he had been in a more cognitive state, he would've known better than to take it. This bartender never gave out anything for free….never.  
  
The bouncer returned with two drinks he had just mixed. Something 'special.' He handed them to Dirandau and the bartender.  
Bartender: "Well….cheers.."  
Dirandau wasn't in the mood to waste time. He drank his as quickly as possible. He promptly collapsed onto the floor a minute later.  
  
Bouncer: "Will he be alright?"  
Bartender: "Oh, of course. He's had it before. It's made to keep unruly drunken customers from being a danger to others. After all, it wouldn't do me any good to have my customers doing anything that'd land them in jail, now would it?"  
Those wonderful merchants….always thinking with their wallets.  
Bartender: "Just take him in the back. He'll be fine. I'll go find his brother, and tell him that he's here."  
The bartender left.  
  
The bouncer did as he was told. He laid Dirandau on a table in the backroom. He was about to lock the door, but something made him hesitate.  
Something about the way he looked, lying there….  
  
The bouncer was young. He was practically still a child, but strong…many of these children were strong nowadays. The damage of war always makes its children strong. They have to become that way, in order to survive.  
  
He didn't know much about the war, the source of his strength. Some thought it best not to teach children of those things…not the events, not the people. They thought this would help to prevent more wars. If people didn't know of evil, then how could they commit it?  
He didn't know anything about those issues wrapped within layers and layers of other issues, through Dirandau and so many other people suffered to live day to day. He couldn't understand even if someone told him…there was no possible way that he would ever understand.  
  
He took a thick tablecloth, and covered Dirandau with it. They had no blankets, so this would do just as well.  
He still questioned whether Dirandau was alright. Maybe he wouldn't wake up.  
That's what this man wanted, wasn't it? He wondered what could possibly make a person want to stop living. What could be so horrible, so intolerable? And why were all the older generations so tired?  
  
He sighed, and shut the door. No one would be answering these questions anytime soon. And standing there like that wasn't going to help anything.  
He went back to his work.  
  
{{I swear…I will have more involving Chid in this fic…I promise!!  
He's just being shy right now. ^_^  
  
Okay, now to answer some of my very few reviews.  
  
Feye: Oy, never! I wouldn't kill Dirandau or Chid off……without very good reason…::Evil smirk::  
[You just can't trust me, can you? ^_^]  
  
Nah, I don't think I should have Dilly take up the violin. That seems to be a cliché thing, to have characters like him take up that instrument. [I blame it on Phantom of the Opera, I really do.]  
  
Etowato: ::Sighs:: Yeah, I don't think that Allen and Dryden could ever get along….  
As for poor Eries…..uh, I don't think she really does much these days.  
  
Dirandau might decide to write his own biography, since he doesn't have his other career to keep him busy. He'll have to do something to keep from losing his mind in Freid.  
  
hehe….and, who here wouldn't love to read one of his books?  
Sailor Vega: ::Grins:: Yeah, there need to be more Chid stories.  
Although, the way this story is going….I may not really be able to call it a Chid story anymore, unless I can shift it more towards Chid's point of view.  
  
Rrr....okay, whining here...  
Is there any way to make FFN stop eating formatting???  
I don't do much with it, but it's still annoying me.  
  
Okay….now I'm off to write more for "A Weapon of War."  
Happy trails.}} 


	3. Chapter 3

PART THREE  
  
Waiting…waiting….Chid preferred waiting instead of doing certain other things. If you had to wait, then it wasn't your fault that you weren't doing what you were supposed to. It was like a vacation.  
  
The workers at the docks were giving him quite a little vacation right now. He wondered why these workers were so slow, especially since they worked in Asturia. It's trade depended on ships….so, how could their workers be slower at loading ships than his own in Freid?  
  
Dryden: "Can't get good help at any price, huh?"  
Dryden smirked.  
Chid: "Why are you smiling?"  
Dryden: "Because you want them to go slower."  
Chid: "I…..no, I don't!"  
This made Dryden smirk even more.  
  
Chid sighed. It was true. He really didn't want to go back just yet, to see those depressed faces, and the bleak surroundings. A place of mourning in rarely a happy one. And he was so miserable already…  
  
He stared out at the horizon. The trip would be long…but not long enough. Maybe they'd get lost.  
If only….  
  
All of a sudden, he saw two men run by. Allen was one of them.  
Chid: "Where is he going in such a hurry?"  
A worker carrying a big barrel overheard that statement.  
Worker: "Oh, he had to go off to help his brother…."  
  
This made Chid apprehensive. Allen was abandoning him to help that…..criminal?  
:: "You can't blame him too much." ::  
He kept in mind that Dirandau was the only family Allen had left. Even if his own father were to be labeled a criminal, Chid would've done anything to help him…anything.  
:: "Besides, Allen won't have need to take care of Dirandau while he's in Freid." ::  
  
They had neglected to tell him that Dirandau was also coming along, which made for a lovely surprise when Allen came back.  
Allen carried Dirandau back from the bar, and brought him to their quarters. Allen wasn't too terribly angry with the bartender, for what had happened. At least this way, Dirandau would be easier to deal with for awhile.  
  
Chid was furious when he found out that Allen had brought Dirandau. Why would Schezar do this to him??  
Chid: "He can't do this!"  
Dryden: "Chid, calm down-"  
But, Chid would not calm down.  
Chid: "My country is in mourning for a terrible attack….and he has to go and bring one of the people responsible for it!! I can understand the need for him to protect his brother, but he can't do this!."  
:: "Father was right about his lack of tact." ::  
Dryden: "You don't understand. If he doesn't take Dirandau along, then Dirandau will either be killed, or sent to prison. He wouldn't have done it otherwise."  
  
As usual, Chid pushed his own feelings away from his decisions. He did what was right for everyone involved.  
  
Chid: "Very well. But, the people of Freid mustn't know that he's here…at least, not initially. He'll have to pretend to be a worker of some kind, until after mourning is over."  
Dryden nodded.  
Dryden: "Alright then. You should get on the ship now."  
He gave Chid a hug, and then the two parted.  
The ship was well under-way. Chid was still depressed. He wandered the ship. He knew he couldn't walk his troubles away, but he thought that it might help to clear his head.  
  
He came across Allen's quarters. The door was wide open. He looked around. There was no one in sight, and Allen was gone. But…Dirandau was there.  
Chid stepped inside.   
  
He turned a light on, to get a better look.  
He had never seen Dirandau before, which may have been a lucky thing. He might've been haunted by the memory, if he had seen Dirandau during those terrible, trying times.   
Chid: "So…..this is the man that killed my father."  
He wondered if Dirandau had any grief over it. Did he feel remorse? Was he sorry he had done this?  
  
No….how could he? He'd killed so many before. What was one more death to him?  
::"Nothing……it meant absolutely nothing!"::  
  
He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know what he would have done, even if he hadn't been under obligation to leave this man alone.  
He wondered, would he ever be like these others, these fighters? Allen, Van, Dirandau, Mereru….they were so obsessed with other people. And they were all so miserable because of it.  
Even his uncle, Dryden….he cared so much about Millerna. Even though he hadn't done much because of that, he still had let this feeling rule part of his life.  
  
Was it really worth this pain, to continue hating someone else? But…well….he still wanted to hate Dirandau. He couldn't understand it, or explain it.  
It almost seemed that if he didn't hate Dirandau…he would have to accept what happened. He would have to forget about Duke Freid. He didn't ever want to forget.  
  
Allen came back. He had stepped out to retrieve some blankets.  
Allen: "Your grace…is there anything I can help you with?"  
He opened one of the blankets up, and covered Dirandau with it.  
  
Chid sighed.  
Chid: "No, I don't think you can help me."  
  
Allen bowed to him as he headed for the door, then sat down next to Dirandau, intending to watch over him.  
Chid stopped in the doorway, staring at the two.  
Chid: "Allen….do you really care about him?"  
There was some part of him that hoped this was all just an act.  
However, Allen wasn't about to oblige Chid's hopes.  
Allen: "Yes."  
Chid: "Why?"  
Allen: "Because he is my brother….and because he is in need of someone to care about him. No one else does."  
Chid: "Yes, but, what about all the things he's done? His crimes? How can you just forget about them?"  
  
Allen: "I haven't forgotten. I still remember how he was when I fought him. So…insane…and…."  
Allen stopped himself. He wasn't doing Dirandau any favors by talking that way.  
  
Chid: "Then, why do you forgive him?"  
Allen: "Because I know him better than that. Sometimes if you get to know a person, you realize that not all of the horrible rumours are true…in a way. He may have done those things, but it doesn't make him a monster."  
Chid: "You're saying that it's okay that he did all those things??"  
Allen: "No, your grace. I am saying that a person can not be defined by what they do. To him, those weren't crimes, and therefore he is not so horrible. A person is only horrible when they know that something is wrong, and they do it anyway."  
  
Chid stared blankly at Allen. Was Allen right? Should he forgive Dirandau?  
He didn't want to….but maybe…maybe it was the right thing.  
  
Yes, it was the right thing. He could tell because the right thing was almost invariably the most painful to do.  
  
Chid: "Allen…where did you learn that from?"  
Allen: "From Balgus, my sword master."  
They had spent such a long time learning that lesson. It was a shame that everyone else refused to learn it.  
Chid: "He must've been a great man."  
Allen: "Oh, yes…just like a father to me."  
Chid smiled.  
Chid: "Kind of like how Dryden is with me.."  
Allen: "Uh….yeah…"  
He turned his face away, pretending to fix one of Dirandau's pillows.  
  
There was silence, awkward silence.  
Chid felt it might be the perfect opportunity to try and find out again what this big secret is that everyone is hiding from him.  
  
Chid: "Allen?"  
Allen: "Yes, your grace?"  
Chid: "Would you tell me-"  
  
Suddenly, the ship lurched forward. Both Chid and Allen were thrown to the floor, and the lamps were knocked out.   
  
Because Dirandau hadn't been awake, he did not have the opportunity to brace himself against the jolt, and was thrown across the room. That was quite a headache to wake up to.  
His eyes fluttered open. Everything was covered in ebony black.   
He became terrified.  
  
He had no way of knowing what had happened the night before. As far as he was concerned, he probably didn't make it to the docks, and was left behind in Asturia……he might have even been in the hands of those sorcerers.  
  
There had been some apprentice sorcerers which had escaped death during the war and the trials after. They were too important to the government.  
He was certain that the government would be all to happy to leave him in their hands.  
  
He screamed. Several times.  
  
Chid tried to find the door, intending to try and find out what had just happened. However, in the dark and confusion, it was impossible to tell where anything was. He stumbled into Dirandau, who in turn, clawed at him. This was not really helping their relationship any.  
Allen looked through Dirandau's coat-pocket, and found a candle. He lit it as best he could in the dark. As soon as he could see, he pulled Chid away from Dirandau.  
Allen held Dirandau to restrain him, in case he decided to do anything else.  
  
Chid brushed himself off.  
Allen: "I'm sorry…are you hurt, your grace?"  
Chid shook his head 'no,' and went to the door.  
He only had a few scratches on him. He would be fine.  
Part of the ship had been damaged. Several levistones had been broken loose from a nearby crash-site, and had hit them. They would have to take the ship somewhere for repairs.  
Luckily, they were near a very friendly country.  
  
Dirandau: "WHERE????"  
Dirandau had a really big grin on his face that nothing could get rid of.  
Allen: "We've stopped in Fanelia."  
Dirandau: "Oh, really…..eheh…"  
Allen: "Alright, that's it! I'm taking all your firecrackers away."  
Dirandau laughed.  
Dirandau: "That's okay. I've still got some cherry-bombs."  
Allen rolled his eyes.  
Dirandau just smiled at him, and got up.  
Allen: "Maybe you'd better just stay on the ship. Things are bad enough right now, without you going off making trouble."  
Dirandau: "Oh, I just wanna play with him…."  
Allen: "When are you going to stop being so childish??"  
Dirandau: "When you stop being such an idiot."  
It was a wonderful day in Fanelia. The sun was shining brightly, and all those buildings looked so lovely in the light.  
There had been a lot of rebuilding done. It was almost better than it had been before it was destroyed. The people were very happy, and life was good.  
  
Most of those traveling on the ship came out, to be greeted by the king.  
Van was glad to welcome them all. Things were going so well, that he had almost grown bored.  
Van smiled.  
Van: "It is good to see you again, Freid. Have you been well?"  
Chid nodded.  
Van: "You are free to stay here as long as necessary to repair your ship."  
Chid: "We thank you for your hospitality, Fanelia."  
The ship's workers, of course, headed straight for some of the local pubs.   
Others, who had been here during the war, had gone to look at the rebuilding.  
  
Chid stayed to talk with Van, and Allen stayed to protect him.   
  
Dirandau knew that he couldn't do anything while Allen was right there to stop him, so he went off to see what trouble he could cause elsewhere.  
:: "Hmm….Van's room would be a good place to start." ::  
  
He had never been inside of Van's castle. He only knew what it looked like from the outside, in bright light. He had no idea that it could be so confusing.  
Which is why he got lost in less than three minutes.  
Dirandau "Didn't I just cross down that hallway? Rrrrrrr….."  
He wasn't being very quiet, which ensured that anyone else would have noticed him there. And, someone was there.  
  
He heard a gasp from down the hallway.  
Dirandau: "What was that?"  
He looked all around, but he couldn't find the source of the sound.  
Possibly he was hearing things, or maybe it was a ghost. Either way, he decided that he should get out of that hallway as quickly as possible.  
  
However, someone else had a better idea. There was a loud hiss, a blur of orange, and then he was thrown to the floor.  
Dirandau: "Ayaaa!!!"  
It hurt all the more because of the injuries he had received earlier.  
  
Dirandau: "What the….??"  
He received a smack upside the jaw.  
Dirandau: "Who are-"  
And yet another smack.  
He was more ready for it this time. He gripped her by the arm….and was surprised to find that it was a paw.  
Dirandau: "Who are you???"  
She struggled to break free.  
Dirandau: "I won't let you go until you tell me."  
He tightened his grip on her arm, at which point she started using his arm as a scratching post. He quickly let go, and backed away from her, but she followed him.  
:: "Damn you, Allen! Why couldn't you have let me have just one weapon?" ::  
  
She stretched out all her claws, and made ready to spring at him again. He dodged it, and let her go sprawling onto the floor behind him. And then he sat on her, and held her arms in place. It was the only thing he could do to keep her from going after him again.  
But, she still had the claws in her feet, which she used to rend the back of his shirt to shreds.  
He jumped up to get away from her, and the fight continued.  
They wrestled for a few minutes, and Dirandau became more badly scratched up by the second.  
  
Van, Chid, and Allen walked down the hallway at this time.  
There was blood and bits of fur everywhere, and the two were still going at it.  
Van: "Mereru!!"  
The little orange fur-ball stopped immediately. However, Dirandau wasn't finished. He grabbed her by the tail, and pulled her to the ground.  
Mereru glowered at him, but did nothing more.  
  
Allen: "Dirandau! What have you done now?"  
Dirandau: "It's not my fault! This….thing…attacked me. I wasn't doing anything!!"  
She hissed at him.  
Mereru: "You little freak. You're one to be calling me a 'thing'."  
They glared at each other.  
Dirandau: "What is your problem??"  
Mereru: "You tried to kill Lord Van! You nearly succeeded several times, too. I hate you!!"  
He stared blankly at her. It was obvious that he didn't recognize her at all.  
  
:: "He doesn't even know how much he hurts people…" ::  
He killed so many people….and he doesn't even recall their horrified faces, as he killed off their loved ones, destroyed their homes, and damaged their dreams.  
Allen tried to help him understand Dirandau…..but, that hadn't worked. A secondhand explanation could not make someone understand the person that had so shattered their world.  
  
Chid shut his eyes for a moment.  
Chid: "I think I should go and see some of the rebuilding that has been done. Good day to you, King Van."  
He left without waiting for a reply.  
Allen wanted to stay behind, to make sure Dirandau was alright….but it was his duty to stay with Chid. There was nothing he could do.  
Van: "Mereru….what's come over you? I thought you were a little more grown up than that."  
Mereru shrugged.  
Van sighed.  
Van: "You can't do stuff like that anymore, Mereru. What about the civil rights movement? No one will listen to you if you act so immature."  
Dirandau: "Civil rights?"  
Mereru: "Yes…the beast-people have been oppressed for a long time. They want their rights, and since I'm so close to the government, I can help a lot by being their representative.."  
  
Dirandau: "Chk….if you represent what's good about beast-people, we should just keep them under suppression!"  
Dirandau had a deep-rooted hatred for them. Ever since Jajuka abandoned him…. He thought he'd found someone he could depend on….but he was wrong. Jajuka was only there for Serena not for him. Nobody was ever really there for him to depend on.  
He couldn't even depend on himself. Every moment of every day, he was terrified that he might just fall apart. And nobody would help him.  
Why couldn't Jajuka have just cared about him??? He might have survived that attack….he might have.  
  
He looked lost, and about ready to break down crying. Why do memories have to come so quick? A single statement can bring a torrential downpour of them…a waterfall, crashing down onto his head.  
  
Mereru glared at him, and hissed.  
Mereru: "OH YEAH??"  
She smacked him across the clean side of his face, claws set as far out as they would go.  
Dirandau gripped his face, dripping with blood.   
  
Mereru: "You can have that, with the compliments of my people!"  
  
She ran off, hating Dirandau even more than before [If that's even possible.]  
She couldn't stand to have her people insulted like that….especially by people like him. There were so many beast-people that were better than the bastards who oppressed them.  
Like Lalio, the baker. He is a wolf-man. He is the best baker in all the land….and yet…he must have his prices so low that he barely makes enough money to pay back what he owes for the ingredients he uses. No one will buy from him, otherwise. They say things like, "Ugh….I don't want to risk getting any hair in my rolls.."  
And the taxes he had to pay were so much higher than any other 'normal' persons.  
What's more, he had absolutely no chance to do anything about it. There was no say in any government for beast-people.  
  
It wasn't fair. Mereru had practically been a slave her whole life. Even though she had been happy, she was still a slave.  
Even if a slave is lucky enough to have a good master, who treats them kindly….that does not change the fact that they are a slave, bound by law and chain.  
  
And, there were so many others she knew of that weren't happy.   
:: "We will free ourselves. We will lift these bonds, and be free. All it will take is time." ::  
Van stared at Dirandau. He remembered that horrible scene, from years ago. But…this was different.  
Dirandau wasn't so horrified. He almost looked like he…accepted it.  
But, that was a mistake. It was not acceptance, it was fatigue.  
  
Van took a small tapestry from one of the walls, and handed it to Dirandau.  
Van: "Here….you can use this until you can get over to a medic."  
Dirandau threw it back at him.  
Dirandau: "I don't need any help from you!"  
  
He looked at himself in a nearby mirror. It was horrible…  
The other one was quite faded by now. There was every hope that it would have disappeared. It was a nice hope, to think that he might be well again, that everything would be fine.  
But…what good did that hope do him now?  
What good did any hope do him?  
He was going to have to pay for those crimes his whole life….crimes that weren't really his. Everything he ever had would be taken away from him, some time or another, and nothing would ever stay the same.  
  
He looked down. His shirtsleeve…it was thoroughly soaked.  
He was thoroughly soaked in blood, in all ways possible.  
  
Van smacked Dirandau in the head with the tapestry  
Van: "Fine! I was just trying to be considerate!"  
Of all people, Van was the most tired of dealing with Dirandau.  
What he had done to Dirandau, he had done because he was defending himself. But, for some reason, that seemed to give Dirandau license to hate him forever….even though Dirandau had gone after him first. It wasn't fair, and it didn't make any sense.  
  
Dirandau: "You want to be considerate? Then, why don't you just die?"  
Van: "Because, you wouldn't do the same for me."  
Dirandau: "Rrrrrrrrrr…."  
Van clutched his sword.  
He did that whenever Dirandau started to act like this towards him. It was a reminder that Dirandau couldn't do anything, so he should stop doing this. Van knew all too well the signs of when Dirandau wanted to attack him. And, even though he knew that Dirandau wouldn't kill him…well, old fears don't die. Just as war-time hatreds live forever, so long as the fighters still live.  
Van: "Go wander somewhere else for awhile. You're not welcome in this hallway."  
  
Dirandau's face became blank. Devoid of emotion….except bitter fatigue.  
He turned, and started down the hallway.  
He didn't care if he met up with anyone who hated him.  
He didn't care.  
His life had not been ended. It had never begun. He never existed.  
Van sighed.  
Van: "That carpet…I'll bet the blood will never come out.."  
  
They had to take Dirandau's uniform to be cleaned, the night of that fatal cut, because of the blood. They wanted to disinfect it.  
The man who took it had remarked about the colour.  
"Thank goodness it's red. Otherwise, those stains might've shown…..that would've been a disaster."  
That man didn't give a damn about him, about the disaster that had befallen him.  
Nobody ever did…unless they had to.  
Chid did not go to look at the rebuilding, like he had said he would. He went straight to the ship, and ran to his quarters. He slammed the door right in Allen's face.  
Chid: "Go away!"  
Allen: "I'm not allowed to do that."  
That wasn't entirely true. He could leave. But…he didn't want to leave Chid alone in such a state.  
Chid: "Yes, you are! You did it at the docks. You can do it now."  
Allen: "That was different. We hadn't started on this mission yet."  
A mission? That's all this was to him?  
Chid: "Allen Schezar, as the Duke of Freid, I am ordering you to leave. Go….take care of your brother…or something…"  
Allen: "Yes, your grace…..as you wish."  
There was nothing more he could do. And thus he left.  
  
Chid slumped down to the floor on the other side of the door.  
He began meditating. That always helped him feel better, and to make sense of things. It was what helped him to keep from losing his mind. He was perhaps the only sane person amidst a throng of completely nutty people, and he didn't want to lose that position.  
  
After meditation, a walk was always enjoyable. Things always looked different, even though they were the same.   
::"You can't hate them. You can't hate the wounded for lashing out at you. They are in pain…they don't know what they do. You can't hate them."::  
  
Life is not kind to some. It disfigures them, in many ways.  
They are so ugly, these people…on the inside.  
But, what good does it do to hate the ugly?  
The ugly can't help what they are. And often, they have a good heart through that unpleasant veil.  
Immaturity, infidelity, murderous lust….a person doesn't choose to have those things. They choose the person. Like a barnacle on a ship, they attach themselves to a person when opportunity arises, and never ever let go.  
  
He turned a corner…to find a man lying on the floor.  
He blinked.  
He had thought everyone had left the ship by now.  
  
He tapped the man on the shoulder, but there was no response.  
Chid: "Is he dead?"  
The man laughed. A tired, dull laugh.  
"Yes…he's dead…"  
  
It was Dirandau. He had come back on the ship, because it would be away from everyone. He didn't want to get hurt anymore today.  
He had tripped over some loose bit of carpeting. It didn't seem worth the effort to get up, so he had just stayed on the floor.  
  
Chid: "Do you need some help?"  
Dirandau laughed again. That statement had too many invitations for jokes.  
Dirandau: "Don't bother. I'll just fall again."  
He sighed.  
Dirandau: "But, I'll get off your lovely carpet……if that's what you're getting at."  
He tried to push himself up off the ground, and managed to sit up. His face was completely matted with blood, as were his hands. He almost looked like he had come from battle. In a way, he had.  
  
He stared straight in front of him.  
He looked as tired as Chid felt.  
Chid: "We haven't met before. I'm-"  
Dirandau: "I know who you are. Allen told me."  
He stared at Chid.  
Dirandau: "You look just like him. I feel sorry for you."  
Chid sighed, and sat down next to Dirandau.  
Chid: "It's not that bad….but…the rumours because of it are horrible. The ones about my family."  
Dirandau: "Rumors about your family?"  
He laughed.  
Dirandau: "You even sound like him! Cripes….you must be so pathetic…."  
Chid: "Well, you don't have to be so rude about it."  
Dirandau: "And you don't have to sit here talking to me, either."  
  
It was true. Chid could just get up and walk away. But…he needed to talk to someone. And Dirandau had absolutely no reason to lie to him. He was probably the only person who would be brutally honest with him, which was something Chid desperately needed. A life without truth is a horrible one indeed.  
  
Chid: "What are you doing here, anyway?"  
Dirandau fixed his collar.  
Dirandau: "Thinking about ways to die."  
Chid: "You think about that often?"  
Dirandau: "Well, why shouldn't I? Everyone else is always thinking up horrible ways for me to die…I may as well come up with some on my own, so that I can debate with them."  
Chid: "Yeah, well can you blame them?"  
Dirandau: "Yes."  
Chid: "But, you're the one who did things to them first. How can you go around feeling as though you're the victim?"  
Dirandau shut his eyes.  
:: "I am….a victim….." ::  
Dirandau: "They don't matter."  
Chid glared at him.  
Chid: "How can you say that?? Don't you feel anything at all?"  
Dirandau took Chid's hand, and put it to the side of his face. Chid pulled it away, now covered with blood, a little horrified. He had always hated the site of blood.  
Dirandau: "Don't ever ask me that again.  
Chid: "Okay, so you got cut…you lost your men…You did so much more to other people. You've caused so much loss. Why don't you feel badly about it?"  
Deep down, Chid needed to know that Dirandau was suffering because of what he had done to his father. There had to be some kind of price for a crime like that.  
  
He knew his father had chosen to give his life, for a cause…but…..  
That didn't do anything for the fact that his father was gone. Sometimes, he just wanted to be so selfish…he just wanted to erase everything, and have his father back. Even if it meant that his father's sacrifice would not be made…even if the benefits of the that sacrifice would never be had by anyone.  
Sometimes he just wanted to kick and scream and complain. He had never done that as a child. His father had taught him it wasn't dignified.  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek.  
He had never had a childhood. He had always been so serious. He had always been a ruler-in-training. There was no time to play. There was work to be done.  
And his people needed him to be strong and reliable.  
There was no time to play.  
  
Dirandau: "I don't feel badly about it because I don't have to."  
He refused to let himself be hurt foolishly for the sake of others.  
Dirandau: "It wouldn't do them any good now, anyway."  
  
With a sigh, Chid conceded. It wouldn't do anyone any good.  
:: "But, it certainly would make me feel better." ::  
  
It didn't matter if he felt good or bad about this. It wouldn't change the events.  
Events are like mountains, and feelings are like rivers. Events can not be moved, bent, or broken, but the river must change its direction to fit with them.  
Chid would flow with the time, until he reached the seas.  
  
Chid: "It won't do them any good now…"  
  
They both sat there like that for an indeterminable amount of time. The innocent and the guilty, side by side. Both had that same tired look on their faces. Both might as well have been dead.  
  
  
  
  
{{Kay...only doing reviews today.  
I'm hoping to maybe get another chapter of "Weapon of War" finished by tomorrow. [Heh..okay, now that I've said it, it'll probably be a few months.^_^]  
  
Feye: Hmm....maybe he will write his biography.  
After all, what else will have have to do?  
::Smirks::  
  
Yeah, I really feel bad for Chid. Like I said in the fic, he's a sane person stuck amidst a sea of crazy people.  
That has to be really hard to deal with.  
  
Eh....technically, Dilly can stay miserable for the rest of his life.  
Much as I dislike it, I really don't know how he can have a truly happy ending.  
And...well, I have issues, and I identify with him. Thus why he's getting so beaten up now in my fics.  
[But, maybe he and Chid can get along later, so Dilly'll have at least one decent friend.]  
  
And, you're such a good writer too! You keep up the good work.  
Etowato: Heh...okay, I'll give you credit for Dilly's biography, if he writes one.  
  
Yeah, I always thought that the Asturians are the most politician-ish of all nations.  
  
^_^I was thinking the same thing about Eries.  
And, I think that Chid is also like the two of them, to some extent.  
They're all so serious...and obsessed with helping their people.  
[Uh...well, technically Folken isn't obsessed with helping his people because he doesn't really have any of his own anymore.]  
But, Chid has more personality, and he actually smiles.  
He's like a kawaii version of the two.  
  
Yeah, I agree that Dirandau is insecure, and a perfectionist.  
I mean, if someone's life is always falling apart, the one thing a person would want more than anything else is to have something stable.  
  
::Chickles::  
I could write Dornkirk-Sama and the Mole-man, and make anyone care about them.  
^_^If I can make non-Allen-lover actually somewhat like him, I can make someone care about any character.  
Even those sorcerers.  
[They're not trying to torment Dilly, they're only going on with their experiments. They don't hate him, they're just trying to get their work done. It's not very nice, but it doesn't make them evil.]  
  
I know that no one much cares...but I will get more Chid in this story!  
I promise!  
  
Dusty D: You're absolutely right.  
But, as Missy Etowato pointed out to me, there are some Chid-fics on FFN....people just don't label them with him as the main character for the search engine.  
Okay...happy trails people.}} 


End file.
